For a recap, in my previous blogposts we focused on “What is the one thing that really matters-Is it Money? OR Is it Power? This week let us see whether it is Approval/Acceptance.
IS THE ONE THING NEEDFUL APPROVAL?
“The Lord’s searchlight penetrates the human spirit exposing every hidden motive.”-Proverbs 20:27
During one of my Quiet times last month, God spoke to me through this verse. It made me ask myself “Do I really know why I do the things I do? What are the hidden motives of my heart?” I believe that is a question all of us need to ask ourselves.
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| It's okay to be different! |
On the outside, we may do things seemingly innocent, good or even praiseworthy. But what if we looked deep down inside and evaluated the WHYs of what we do.
I remember the time when I had started my blog and had published about 5-6 posts. I was filled with doubt and uncertainty and asked my dear husband “is anyone really reading this? Is it doing anyone any good? Am I simply wasting time, both mine and theirs?” His wise reply is one I will never forget, he asked me “Laura, consider all the missionaries who distribute millions of tracts, which are just thrown away (sometimes even in front of their eyes), in the dustbin, on the streets…lots of money wasted, lots of effort in designing, printing, distribution gone waste but does that make them stop doing the good work they are doing? They continue to do faithfully what God has placed in their heart to do and God blesses their efforts in the most unexpected ways. How many people have accepted the Lord through the very distribution of these tracts? You continue doing what God has placed in your heart to do. Do it for God and not for man. God who sees what we do in secret will reward each one of us for our efforts.”
Those words of his totally changed my perspective. I now began to write true to what God put on my heart to write without bothering too much about the result. I began to surrender my pen to Him asking Him to use me as His instrument to say what He wanted to say and to bless the readers and to meet them at their point of need.
This post is particularly very special because it speaks of a problem that the best of us often struggle with.
This week’s blog post: It’s Okay to Be Different.
All through life we try to fit in. We try to blend in with the crowd, to be accepted. No one likes to be singled out, to be odd, to “not belong”. Often in life we are tempted even to compromise on whom we really are and what we really want just because everybody doesn’t want it or appreciate it or like it. During school and college days I had lots of friends and was quite popular as ace student and cultural champion, yet there was a void in my heart. I was successful and happy but deep down inside I felt odd and different. I could easily relate to the song “Main aisa kyon Hoon” in the Bollywood movie Lakshya. Though I had a crowd of friends, I was tired of always being different and I began to wish for someone I could easily click with, who had similar trains of thought, who enjoyed similar pursuits, who spoke on matters of mutual interest so that I wouldn’t have to explain myself ,someone who would not be afraid to be themselves and who would allow me to just be me. However with the gradual passage of time I realized that I could never find such a person who was just like me because our Heavenly Father is a Creative Genius who has made each and every one of us different & unique. Even our finger prints are one of a kind! We have a God who delights in our uniqueness and we are all so very special to Him! That made me realize that my worth should come from Him alone.As long as I had his smile of approval, whether or not people understood /accepted /liked me or not really shouldn’t bother me anymore!Here was the Lord God Almighty celebrating me; His masterpiece. A God who loved and acceped me just as I was but who loves me too much to let me stay that way and hence takes me and works on me patiently day after day to make me what He wants me to be. Even now when I forget or find myself falling into the approval addiction trap,I try and remind myself of the eaglet story.
THE EAGLET STORY:
A little eaglet had been accidentally placed in a chicken nest. He was raised there along with the other baby chicks by the mother hen. Days went by and the little birds grew up. However hard he tried, the eaglet just couldn’t scratch in the dust like the chicks for he had not been designed for that. His claws were not suitable and he had to suffer the ridicule of the other chickens. They laughed at him and told him that he was not suitable to be with them, that he should try hard and learn first and then come to join them. Slowly he began to look down on himself for his ugliness and inability and felt useless. One night, a wise owl saw him crying and asked him what he was doing and why he wasn’t asleep .The eaglet replied that he was practicing so that he would become like the other chickens. The owl scolded him and told him to stop that and go to bed. He told him to look up into the skies in the morning and that he would find the answer there. Next morning, the eaglet eagerly looked up into the sky and saw an amazing bird in the sky gliding so magnificently and so high that he was so curious what that was. He waited for night to come to ask the wise old owl. The owl laughingly told him, “that is what you are called for; you are an eaglet and not a chicken. You are not called for scratching the dust; you are called to glide in the sky like that eagle and you will one day if you try hard enough. From that day on the eaglet started practicing- not to scratch in the dirt but to soar in the skies. His eyes were no more on the ground but in the skies.
Many times in life it is easy to just be a people pleaser and swim with the tide, but what is the fun in that? It is when we are able to swim against the tide with God’s help that we actually achieve our destiny. There is a wonderful quote that a friend of mine has coined: “It takes strength to fit in and courage to stand out.”
I pray for both the strength and the courage. Alone we cannot do anything and we need to connect with people to give to them as well as to receive from them. Bible says that we need to be at peace with all men as far as possible. However that does not mean to be a YES MAN who says yes all the time, to everyone and everything. It is best to strike a balance and ask God to help us develop divine connections, people who edify and build us up, and who will help us achieve our God given destiny. For attaining this, we may sometimes even have to cut off from useless pursuits and activities that drain us and sap our energy. Asking God for wisdom in this matter will definitely help us to make right choices.
I pray for both the strength and the courage. Alone we cannot do anything and we need to connect with people to give to them as well as to receive from them. Bible says that we need to be at peace with all men as far as possible. However that does not mean to be a YES MAN who says yes all the time, to everyone and everything. It is best to strike a balance and ask God to help us develop divine connections, people who edify and build us up, and who will help us achieve our God given destiny. For attaining this, we may sometimes even have to cut off from useless pursuits and activities that drain us and sap our energy. Asking God for wisdom in this matter will definitely help us to make right choices.
We need to pray to God to free us from “Approval Addiction”-a term that Joyce Meyer has written a book about overcoming your need to please everybody. It is impossible to please all of the people all of the time. A story to illustrate this:
THE STORY OF THE MAN, HIS SON AND DONKEY- Aesop’s Fables
There was once a man and his son who was returning from the market with a donkey that they had just bought. It was a good distance and so they decided to walk. While walking, they came across a country man who was passing by and said, “What foolish people; what is a donkey but to ride upon? Hearing this, the man put the boy on the donkey and they went their way.
A good distance and they came across a group of men who said “see that lazy youngster; he lets his father walk while he rides.”So the man asked the boy to get down and started riding on it himself.
Soon they came across two women who commented, “Shame on that lazy man who lets his poor little son trudge along.”The man didn’t know what to do and so he asked the boy also to climb on.
Soon they came across a group of men who jeered at them and said: “Look at this old hulk and his boy … they are trying to kill this poor donkey. You both should be ashamed of yourselves!"
So now they were back to the way they had started out in the beginning.
Moral of the story: Try to please everyone, and you will please no one.
THE SOLUTION? :
Then whom should we please? After years of trying this and that and failing and learning,what I have learnt is this: Just make sure that what you are doing is in line with God’s word, your conscience is clear, you are not harming anyone deliberately, you are open to correction and available to those in need. Then just Go ahead and live your life. Do what you want to do, what makes you happy and what pleases God’s HEART. After all, He is the One whose approval really matters and it is He alone who really cares!
LIVE LIFE KING SIZE!
"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth." –William W Purkey
Some of my Favorite Quotes
- “There will never be another now, I’ll make the most of today, there will never be another me, I’ll make the most of myself.”
- “I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.”
- “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
- “Like the sky opens after a rainy day we must be open to ourselves.... Learn to love yourself for who you are and be open so the world can see you shine.”- James Poland
- “Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.”-Julius Charles Hare
- “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.”-Andre Gide
- “Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, but why he had not been Zusya.”- Walter Kaufmann
Have a wonderful week and don’t ever forget: “You were born an original, don’t die a copy!”-(John Mason)
Take care, God bless,
Sparky Laurie
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