My Story Part -3 SEASON OF REJECTION

Isa 43:1 : “But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”

(-Contd from Part 2 CLOSED DOORS ONLY)

Hi friends, hope you have seen how through each painful experience I was drawn closer to God as it is during these times of our life ; when our strength fails that He becomes our Strength & gives us Peace transcending all human understanding. Though we may not like these deep down valley experiences, it is here that we learn our best lessons. I pray that this will encourage someone today for everyone has been rejected by someone or the other.

Without going much into the details, I would just like you to know that during this particular Season of my life, rejection came from all sides- left , right & center! Almost everything I said/did was taken in wrong ways. I was falsely accused of things I never did, slandered, ignored, criticized, misinterpreted and misunderstood even by loved ones who I loved. What hurt me most was that no one gave me any chance to explain- I was charged guilty without trial. Things done out of love were given selfish intentions. I admit , I'm not perfect but  during this particular season of my life, the intensity of the onslaught was so great & cruelly unfair (many things I knew nothing about) , that I was convinced that there was something going on in the spirit realm - invisible to the physical eye and far beyond human understanding. Those who loved & prayed with me during this time also wondered why there was this quick succession of trials - one after the other. It was as if my life was being totally shaken - intellectually, physically and now socially. Frankly, of all my struggles till date, this pain of Rejection that I faced during that time was the most painful trial I have faced, even more than the physical suffering that I had just recovered from. As you saw in Part -1 , I always had more friends than I could count but now suddenly I was left alone. It shattered me to smithereens & robbed me of my last bit of self confidence. I wondered why my life had suddenly turned upside down; but this was exactly where God wanted me. My death to self  marked the beginning of the life of Christ in me. However, at that time I fell into the paralysis of analysis and tried to think over and over again what I had done wrong to suffer so badly. I asked God to reveal to me if there was any unknown sin in my life so I could repent and told Him that though I didn't understand I trusted His goodness. Now, I  see clearly that God had allowed these experiences in my life as it was His way of slowly removing every prop from under me so that I would now know the ROCK on which I stood and become strong not in my strength but in Him so that He could use me. It was a training required of any person God chooses to use.

We see in Mathew 14:22  that it is Jesus Himself who asks his disciples to get into the boat & go ahead of Him to the other side, then if they were obeying God why was the boat tossed by the waves and the wind contrary?(vs 24) Why wasn't there smooth sailing if they were obeying God? Many times just like the disciples, we also face contrary waves & winds while walking in obedience. We may not understand why but just like Jesus came right on time to strengthen them, He will come to help us too if we are walking in step by step obedience to His Voice. It is His promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us, we are the apple of His eye!"

I still continued my duties faithfully and prayed all the more for I felt alone, misunderstood & now even fearful- never of God but always of people. I began to dread company especially those linked to my rejection in the past – not because I was angry but simply because I didn’t want any more pain. All the while, I was convinced of my innocence , goodness of heart & sincere intentions and so I waited patiently on Him to vindicate me . As I needed a time of healing & restoration, I deliberately surrounded myself only with those I fully trusted & spent most of my time feeding in the Word. Soon I was back on track- genuinely happy & busy in life. But slowly, God began to tell me that it was time now to forgive &  love the people who had hurt me. I loved Jesus & so obeyed in spite of the hurt. He then told me to show my love for them in visible ways;  again I obeyed. Often however I was doing this afraid, not because I wanted to but ONLY because He told me to. I often had painful flashbacks of the past which made me sad, bitter,defensive & even angry . But God taught me that I had to  LET GO & LOVE. He wanted me to be a Panda not a Porcupine. (Refer LINK) I obeyed. Slowly, it became easier for me to love but the truth is it hurt me that I never felt any love back. That is when God told me that He would give me all the love I needed. My job was to give the love to those who needed it and when I felt I needed more Love, to go back to Him. It was simple and I began to enjoy the experience. God restored the strained relationships one by one. I was happy that He did what I had no power to do but He had not finished with me yet…   - to be continued
Click for PART 4 WASHING HANDS & FEEDING THE HUNGRY

  Friend, have you been facing the severe sting of rejection in your life? I know how badly it can hurt and sometimes even be fatal. Rest assured, I recommend to you My Physician, JESUS- He has the healing balm for your wound. Will you allow Him to take a look at your heart?

Enjoy this lovely song :  I LOVE YOU & YOU ARE MINE

Click : http://youtu.be/v6Eqq5Q1DOU

Have a blessed day,

Take care, God bless,

Sparky Laurie

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My Story Part -2 CLOSED DOORS ONLY

Contd from Part -1

After Post Graduation, I returned home and started my job hunt which was difficult in my hometown and so I tried a new door by applying for a Bachelor’s Degree in Teaching. My time of CLOSED DOORS had started- In spite of topping the merit list, I was apologetically denied admission since my TC hadn’t reached from the University to the college on time. One thing after another, no matter how hard I tried , things would just slip like oil from my fingers. Every time, a new thing would come along and we would think this may be the DOOR , we would get our hopes high, only to have them squashed at the last moment. It was unexplainable torture . At that time I felt as if I was under some curse. But what Satan sought for my downfall, drew me all the more close to God and I began my voracious study of the Scriptures.

Then came the painful wait for marriage. I waited patiently for many years praying for a Godly mate. I watched as one by one all of my friends got married and then even had their children while here I was …..STILL waiting for God’s choice. There were good proposals but I was determined to marry a believer ONLY since 2 Corin 6:14 asks us not to be unequally yoked. Though it was hard and seemed foolish to many , I stood on that promise & God in His time, blessed me with a wonderful life partner. Today, I'm glad I waited on GOD. HE REMAINED FAITHFUL TO HIS WORD.

But at that time, I did not understand , all I saw was dark clouds and no answers. I thought maybe God’s plan was for me to pursue Bible Studies when I got an opportunity through a Christian Ministry. I passed the TOEFL & went through all the necessary procedures & even got the admission in a prestigious Bible School in CA. All that remained was my Visa Interview.  I was all smiles believing that this was God's will and He would see me through. But soon the next closed door slammed on my face-  I received a blue slip from the Visa Office- they had accepted my Student Visa Application  but because of some problem with sponsor's documentation, I was asked to wait. I had prepared myself for a YES and a NO but not this uncertainty that totally broke me. Finally, after another wait, I was denied the Visa. I watched helplessly in pain as I saw one by one all of my hopes & plans crash to the ground. I fell to my knees and cried my heart out to GOD : "Why this unfairness Lord? Why did you bring this chance only to have it taken away from me? Have I not suffered enough? When will I get my break?"But God remained silent. I had ONLY the Promises of His Word to comfort and strengthen me. I watched all of my friends reach heights in their careers while inspite of being equally qualified, all I could do was wait and watch and that is exactly what I did! Now I know that sometimes God closes doors in our lives and though at that time it may be painful, His ways are always the best for us.

Finally in His perfect timing, the Lord brought me & my loving husband together & yes, the wait had been long for both of us but it definitely had been worth it! Then came my first miscarriage which shattered us. I asked my mother, “Why does God make me wait for everything?- for my job, for the chance to study to work in the Ministry, for marriage, and now for a child?” I had no answers but had grown to trust Him inspite of the pain.

Very soon, we had the happy news that the Lord had blessed my womb once again. A lot of people were praying for us and by now we learnt how to totally depend on God. Throughout my pregnancy I experienced horrible heart burn, stomach cramps that would come and go and severe vomiting right till the end. The Dr dismissed my concerns as normal pregnancy related symptoms. However later, after the baby was born  and when the stomach pain still persisted, we knew something was wrong. Medical reports proved that during the pregnancy I had developed multiple stones in my gall bladder & that was the reason for the unbearable pain & uncontrollable vomiting. I had to undergo immediate operation. It was hardly a month after the delivery & I had to undergo this series of painful tests to undergo some surgeries. This continuous stream of unfortunate events, one after the other shook both me and my loved ones like never before. I asked my mother when will my bad time end? Many times I really thought I wouldn’t make it & often wished to die during that time. It broke my heart that I couldn’t enjoy time with our newborn as I was admitted in a hospital in the city.

After my gall bladder was removed, I couldn’t walk /eat due to excruciating pain, didn’t have  the energy even to cry. I couldn’t sleep / even turn over as any movement was painful. I was tired & fed up in severe pain and both my body and my mind would take time to heal. God as always remained FAITHFUL to me.

Then began my new challenges of  a first time mom , which all of us undergo. Only difference was that my lack of rest because of the series of operations just after the delivery left me with severe lower back pain and heels pain . However, the birth of our son brought new joy into our life. It made me a new person. Whatever pain I faced, would disappear with one toothless grin of  his. I began to enjoy the antics of our little one. I thought my hardships were over but then came the most severe blow of all…..

-         to be continued Click for PART 3 SEASON OF REJECTION

I want to encourage you if you've been waiting for answers for a long time , believe me I know for I too have been there. GOD is faithful . He will never fail you. TRUST HIM.

Enjoy this wonderful Song : Worth the Wait (33 Miles)

http://youtu.be/ew0YWiernig

 Take care, God bless,

Sparky Laurie

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My Story Part -1 A GLORIOUS BEGINNING

Rev 3:8 : “I know your works and what you are doing. See! I have set before you a door wide open which no one is able to shut; I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept My Word and guarded My message and have not renounced or denied My name.”

Dear friends,

Today morning as I woke up, God put in my mind one word DOOR. And I could see in my mind’s eye all the closed doors in my life that have been slammed on my face for the past few years. Though my posts are usually cheerful, optimistic and give encouragement & hope, sometimes you may have sensed the stifled cries of a soul in anguish, and an  undercurrent of pain & suffering, I’ve never really shared with you any of it simply because I never got the direction from God to share it with you.

But today, God tells me that my time of "open doors" has come. In addition to the picture that came to my mind, I got a reconfirmation when I checked my Daily Reading from Journals of The Heart. Click here for today’s reading; key verse in this post. You may believe or doubt me, that is totally up to you. I do my part and though hesitatingly, I do so – trusting that the grace of God will never take me where the love of God will not keep me. I would rather talk to you about Him than about myself but today as the Holy Spirit leads in complete obedience to Him, I share with you some of my Story. Get ready to give HIM all the Glory & Honor, for He has been faithful and He alone is worthy.

John 3:30 “It is necessary for Him to increase and for me to decrease.”

“God is too wise to make a mistake. God is too good to be unkind.”- Babbie Mason

The Glorious Beginning:

I accepted the Lord during my Pre-degree days (1996) while at a College in a Catholic Camp that I didn’t really want to go to. Can you believe that it was actually a LIE that got me saved? Read on to see the amazing way in which God calls those whom He has chosen.

John 15:16 “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”

We had a college hostel program and needed time for Practice, so 3 of us went to our warden and lied to her about a Camp we had to attend and requested her to postpone the Program. Actually we were all eagerly waiting to go home for the weekend, we had no intention of going anywhere else ; let alone a Catholic Camp – the “smart” girls we were, we had decided to cancel immediately after getting the program postponed. The warden agreed and we thought we had fooled her! Imagine our shock, when the time came and our “Smarter” warden would not allow us to go home reminding us that we had to go for the Camp. We watched all our hostel mates go home; grumbling & angry we got on the bus to go to the camp site. To make things worse, it was pouring heavily and we reached the place drenched, furious and late. Then the Music began, and we liked the Catchy tunes of the REX band and this quieted us. This was followed by Testimonies, Skits and Workshops but the thing that really touched me and I've already mentioned it in the TESTIMONY link was the genuine love that the JESUS YOUTH had for us .We came to know later that while we were enjoying the Camp there were many who had been kneeling in prayer for us in the Chapel during the whole of this time, unknown to any of us. To this day I believe that it was those prayers that saved us for I know without a doubt that I definitely did not want to be there, let alone saved. Oh the POWER of Intercession! To sum up, by the time this 3  day program was over, all 3 of us accepted Jesus as the Lord of our Lives and we decided to attend the  next year too. We went back to the Hostel and started a small prayer group. All 3 of us coming from Protestant backgrounds believed in Direct Intercession and avoided Rosary and prayer to Saints. There was power in the prayer and soon many others including 2 Hindus joined us. It was that sweet and sunny time of immediate answers and the happiness of First love. Everyone began to notice a peace, radiance and joy in our lives. Quite unexpectedly, I even won the Award for MOST PLEASANT FACE in the Hostel! ;)  In addition, God also blessed me with Honors in Academics and Extracurricular activities. I had too many friends to count. Once, one of my friends told me as she walked with me to Class from Hostel- "Laura, you have so many friends that walking to class and stopping to talk to each of them is like travelling in a bus that makes so many stops to get passengers off and on.” Yes those were some of the happiest days of my life. Another friend remarked that there used to be a light shining from my face. I didn’t understand it then, I thought it must be sunlight but now I understand that it was the Glory of the Lord shining through me. Such was the wonderful phase 1 of my love walk with the Lord Jesus. Life was just beautiful ! Little did I know what was coming….I truly don’t know if I would ever have been ready had I known!     .......

-         To be continued Click for Part 2 :  CLOSED DOORS ONLY

Click here to enjoy this Song which says all that I have been trying to tell you.

http://youtu.be/dz5dCj3McBw

Take Care, God bless,

Sparky Laurie

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A STRONG WOMAN Vs A WOMAN OF STRENGTH

Which one are YOU ?

Hi friends,  Are they both the same or are they different? And suppose they are , Which one are you? Read on to find out for yourself.

But before that, do enjoy this lovely poem I just came across today.

I Refuse to Be Discouraged !- Author Unknown

I refuse to be discouraged, To be sad, or to cry;

I refuse to be downhearted, And here’s the reason why…

I have a God who’s mighty, Who’s sovereign and supreme;

I have a God who loves me, and I am on His team.

He is all wise and powerful, Jesus is His name;

Though everything is changeable, my God remains the same.

My God knows all that’s happening; beginning to the end,

His presence is my comfort, He is my dearest friend.

When sickness comes to weaken me, to bring my head down low,

I call upon my mighty God; Into His arms I go.

When circumstances threaten to rob me from my peace;

He draws me close unto His breast, Where all my strivings cease.

And when my heart melts within me, and weakness takes control;

He gathers me into His arms, He soothes my heart and soul.

The great “I AM” is with me, my life is in His hand,

The “Son of the Lord” is my hope, it’s in His strength I stand.

I refuse to be defeated, my eyes are on my God;

He has promised to be with me, as through this life I trod.

I’m looking past all my circumstances, o Heaven’s throne above;

My prayers have reached the heart of God, I’m resting in His love.

I give God thanks in everything, my eyes are on His face;

The battle’s His, the victory is mine; He’ll help me win the race.

Enjoy these encouraging Videos :  

STRONG WOMAN VS WOMAN OF STRENGTH :
 http://youtu.be/61A7bVaeBg4

YOU ARE MY STRENGTH WHEN I AM WEAK

http://youtu.be/s-P5Tnj6glY

Have a blessed week,

Take care, God bless,

Sparky Laurie 

SURPRISE : MY FAV HINDI WORSHIP SONGS

Rom 14:11 : “By my life, says the Lord, to me every knee will be bent, and every tongue will give worship to God.”

Hi friends,

I am sharing with you some wonderful Hindi songs that I have been listening to. Hindi has always been a language that has fascinated me. And for those of you who aren’t already aware, HINDI is one of the most emotive languages ever. The words we want to express just come out so smoothly, sweetly and powerfully. I will try translating the words for you. Let us sing and worship the Lord in every language and in every way we can.

1)     YESHU MASI TERE JAISE KOYI NAHIN ( LORD JESUS , THERE IS NONE LIKE YOU) Click to enjoy this wonderful song: http://youtu.be/Q6Mf1kHFhik

 

Jesus Messiah, there is no one else like you,

The skies bow down at your feet and the earth sings songs of your greatness.

Ch : We sing Hosanna, You are the King of all Kings

And May Your Name be Glorified forever.

You are our dear Lord

Loving Father, you have loved us so much

To save us from Sin , You sacrificed Your Own Son

 

2)     YESHU TERA NAM (JESUS YOUR NAME)

Click to enjoy this  soothing  song: http://youtu.be/Q6Mf1kHFhik

How beautiful Your Name is Jesus !

How Holy is Your name O Jesus

In You we have got Forgiveness

In You we have got New Life.

How beautiful Your Name is O Jesus !

How Holy is Your name O Jesus
In You we have got Grace
In You we were made Holy

How beautiful Your Name is O Jesus !

How Holy is Your name O Jesus
In You we have got Abundance
In You we got Eternal Life

How beautiful Your Name is O Jesus !

How Holy is Your name O Jesus

3)     SHUKRIYA (THANK YOU)  Click to enjoy this Song of Thanks http://youtu.be/W6eTIOf0tcA 

What can I give you?What can I get you?

I only Say THANK YOU.

THANK YOU JESUS. 

So, some of you learnt some Hindi also ? ;)
Hope you enjoyed this special post!           

Take care, God bless,

Sparky Laurie

Sometimes I feel homesick for Heaven (Poem)

Hi friends, sharing a few lines written by me to express some random thoughts that came to mind. I pray it blesses you!

SOMETIMES I FEEL HOMESICK FOR HEAVEN

I’m a lonely wandering pilgrim

Sojourning the face of this earth

Doing the good I know I should

Spreading the message that God is good.

I believe there is good in every person

Simply because there is God in every soul.

We all have fallen, we all have sinned

We all are broken and hurting within

There is no perfect Christian, there is no sinless Saint

There is no person on earth without a single taint

Let there be no confusion, let there be no doubt

You’re made in His image, it doesn’t matter what you’re all about.

Whether you are a Church-goer who doesn’t really know Him

Or whether you are a bar dancer, He doesn’t give a whim.

That’s what so special about Him, that’s why I call Him Lord

That is what makes us man and what makes Him God.

He never judges to condemn us, He only convicts of our sin.

He doesn’t want a perfect act,

He loves us as we are and that’s a fact.

He knows us better than we know ourselves

But loves us too much to leave us that way

He listens to our unwhispered prayers

He wipes our tears and knows our cares.

It is His hand that has fashioned each of us unique

He knows us; when we are strong & when we are weak

We may be fearful or bold, gentle or mild,

We may be worldly, we may be wild

We are all made in God’s very own image

Like it or not, He already calls us His Child

God shaped holes man cannot fill,

We may play it cool, we may try to chill,

We may fool the world, but our heart it knows

That with nothing on earth the emptiness goes.

We may choose to ignore His voice and go our way,

But then there is also a price to pay.

For when the day is done and when it’s time to go

We may call on Him but He will say ; you, I do not know.

The Loving Savior is calling us today

All we have to say is Jesus, I choose your way.

Our God is a Heart Specialist and all He wants is a willing heart.

If we trust Him with it, He will do His part

He will make us just like Him little by little each day

And when it gets tough , He will carry us along the way.

The Christian life is not a boring one,

Life with Jesus is truly so much fun.

There’s joy & peace & security

Provision & companionship & tranquility

Guidance and wisdom for every little thing

Balm and kisses for every little sting

Our Lord has a great sense of humor

Our Lord can heal any tumor

Our God has riches abounding

Our God has mercies astounding

I am no Liar, I am your friend

I tell you the truth His love knows no end.

I find myself unworthy of the task

I am open & forthright, I wear no mask.

His love, it compels me.

At His name, I bow my knee.

For He alone is worthy of all Praise

And I will love & adore Him all of my days.

I long to share this secret with all

It’s a responsibility that comes with the call.

Often, Oh! Jesus I feel your pain

Your death at Calvary will never be in vain

Holy Father, who gave us Your All

Only to hear us respond to Your Call.

A parting word to you my friend,

With love and prayers to you I send

Look never to me nor a Christian brother

Focus your eyes on Christ and no other.

For He alone is the Perfect One

He is our Savior and  God’s only Son.

-         Sparky Laurie

   (Oct, 2011)

Take care, God bless,

Sparky Laurie

PS: Enjoy this lovely song by the legendary Jim Reeves!

Click : https://youtu.be/4ndMZqT6i4I

Related post :  JIM REEVES SONGS