Isa 43:1 : “But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”
(-Contd from Part 2 CLOSED DOORS ONLY)
Hi friends, hope you have seen how through each painful experience I was drawn closer to God as it is during these times of our life ; when our strength fails that He becomes our Strength & gives us Peace transcending all human understanding. Though we may not like these deep down valley experiences, it is here that we learn our best lessons. I pray that this will encourage someone today for everyone has been rejected by someone or the other.
Without going much into the details, I would just like you to know that during this particular Season of my life, rejection came from all sides- left , right & center! Almost everything I said/did was taken in wrong ways. I was falsely accused of things I never did, slandered, ignored, criticized, misinterpreted and misunderstood even by loved ones who I loved. What hurt me most was that no one gave me any chance to explain- I was charged guilty without trial. Things done out of love were given selfish intentions. I admit , I'm not perfect but during this particular season of my life, the intensity of the onslaught was so great & cruelly unfair (many things I knew nothing about) , that I was convinced that there was something going on in the spirit realm - invisible to the physical eye and far beyond human understanding. Those who loved & prayed with me during this time also wondered why there was this quick succession of trials - one after the other. It was as if my life was being totally shaken - intellectually, physically and now socially. Frankly, of all my struggles till date, this pain of Rejection that I faced during that time was the most painful trial I have faced, even more than the physical suffering that I had just recovered from. As you saw in Part -1 , I always had more friends than I could count but now suddenly I was left alone. It shattered me to smithereens & robbed me of my last bit of self confidence. I wondered why my life had suddenly turned upside down; but this was exactly where God wanted me. My death to self marked the beginning of the life of Christ in me. However, at that time I fell into the paralysis of analysis and tried to think over and over again what I had done wrong to suffer so badly. I asked God to reveal to me if there was any unknown sin in my life so I could repent and told Him that though I didn't understand I trusted His goodness. Now, I see clearly that God had allowed these experiences in my life as it was His way of slowly removing every prop from under me so that I would now know the ROCK on which I stood and become strong not in my strength but in Him so that He could use me. It was a training required of any person God chooses to use.
Friend, have you been facing the severe sting of rejection in your life? I know how badly it can hurt and sometimes even be fatal. Rest assured, I recommend to you My Physician, JESUS- He has the healing balm for your wound. Will you allow Him to take a look at your heart?Without going much into the details, I would just like you to know that during this particular Season of my life, rejection came from all sides- left , right & center! Almost everything I said/did was taken in wrong ways. I was falsely accused of things I never did, slandered, ignored, criticized, misinterpreted and misunderstood even by loved ones who I loved. What hurt me most was that no one gave me any chance to explain- I was charged guilty without trial. Things done out of love were given selfish intentions. I admit , I'm not perfect but during this particular season of my life, the intensity of the onslaught was so great & cruelly unfair (many things I knew nothing about) , that I was convinced that there was something going on in the spirit realm - invisible to the physical eye and far beyond human understanding. Those who loved & prayed with me during this time also wondered why there was this quick succession of trials - one after the other. It was as if my life was being totally shaken - intellectually, physically and now socially. Frankly, of all my struggles till date, this pain of Rejection that I faced during that time was the most painful trial I have faced, even more than the physical suffering that I had just recovered from. As you saw in Part -1 , I always had more friends than I could count but now suddenly I was left alone. It shattered me to smithereens & robbed me of my last bit of self confidence. I wondered why my life had suddenly turned upside down; but this was exactly where God wanted me. My death to self marked the beginning of the life of Christ in me. However, at that time I fell into the paralysis of analysis and tried to think over and over again what I had done wrong to suffer so badly. I asked God to reveal to me if there was any unknown sin in my life so I could repent and told Him that though I didn't understand I trusted His goodness. Now, I see clearly that God had allowed these experiences in my life as it was His way of slowly removing every prop from under me so that I would now know the ROCK on which I stood and become strong not in my strength but in Him so that He could use me. It was a training required of any person God chooses to use.
We see in Mathew 14:22 that it is Jesus Himself who asks his disciples to get into the boat & go ahead of Him to the other side, then if they were obeying God why was the boat tossed by the waves and the wind contrary?(vs 24) Why wasn't there smooth sailing if they were obeying God? Many times just like the disciples, we also face contrary waves & winds while walking in obedience. We may not understand why but just like Jesus came right on time to strengthen them, He will come to help us too if we are walking in step by step obedience to His Voice. It is His promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us, we are the apple of His eye!"
I still continued my duties faithfully and prayed all the more for I felt alone, misunderstood & now even fearful- never of God but always of people. I began to dread company especially those linked to my rejection in the past – not because I was angry but simply because I didn’t want any more pain. All the while, I was convinced of my innocence , goodness of heart & sincere intentions and so I waited patiently on Him to vindicate me . As I needed a time of healing & restoration, I deliberately surrounded myself only with those I fully trusted & spent most of my time feeding in the Word. Soon I was back on track- genuinely happy & busy in life. But slowly, God began to tell me that it was time now to forgive & love the people who had hurt me. I loved Jesus & so obeyed in spite of the hurt. He then told me to show my love for them in visible ways; again I obeyed. Often however I was doing this afraid, not because I wanted to but ONLY because He told me to. I often had painful flashbacks of the past which made me sad, bitter,defensive & even angry . But God taught me that I had to LET GO & LOVE. He wanted me to be a Panda not a Porcupine. (Refer LINK) I obeyed. Slowly, it became easier for me to love but the truth is it hurt me that I never felt any love back. That is when God told me that He would give me all the love I needed. My job was to give the love to those who needed it and when I felt I needed more Love, to go back to Him. It was simple and I began to enjoy the experience. God restored the strained relationships one by one. I was happy that He did what I had no power to do but He had not finished with me yet… - to be continued
Click for PART 4 WASHING HANDS & FEEDING THE HUNGRY
Click for PART 4 WASHING HANDS & FEEDING THE HUNGRY
Enjoy this lovely song : I LOVE YOU & YOU ARE MINE
Click : http://youtu.be/v6Eqq5Q1DOU
Have a blessed day,
Take care, God bless,
Sparky Laurie
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